Brighter and Brighter: November 2018

This is a song full of questions, the most important being, "Would I know my Savior?" Would we recognize him as the Savior of the world if we saw him lying in a manger? The shepherds and wise men did. Simeon and Anna did. They all knew he was more than another baby; he was the Son of God. And so the answer to all the questions in the song lies in how we choose to live our lives. If we are in a position to feel the Holy Spirit in our lives now, we would have been doing the same thing then, and we would have been able to answer YES, I know my Savior. I love the last verse of the song: "I think my heart would know him, Christ the Holy One. For I can hear the Spirit whisper, 'This is God's own Son.'" The Spirit testifies of Christ, and I have received my own witness from the Holy Spirit that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that He lives and loves us. I believe that anyone with a sincere heart and real intent can receive their own testimony of Jesus Christ through the witness of the Holy Ghost.

Lyrics and Music by Sally Deford, find the sheet music here

Would I Know My Savior?

Would I know my Savior,
wrapped in swaddling bands?
Lying in a manger-bed
Light of heaven round His head
Would I hear the angels
bend t’ward earth to sing?
Would I know the Holy Child?
Would I know my King?

Would I know my Savior,
safe in Mary’s arms?
Cradled in a lullaby
Heaven’s legions watching nigh
Would I know His goodness?
Would I feel His grace?
Would I know the Holy Child
if I beheld his face?

Would I know my Savior,
in a lowly stall?
Where the lowing cattle feed
Where the silver starlight leads
Where the humble shepherds
seek the Holy One
Would I hear the Spirit whisper,
“This is God’s own Son.”

I think my heart would know Him
Christ the Holy One
For I can hear the Spirit whisper,
“This is God’s own Son.”

Today wasn’t my best day. I felt a bit tired and a lot like a grouch. I was easily annoyed by little things my kids said or did, and I wasn’t very kind. I didn’t feel like smiling, or listening with empathy, or making things fun, or making dinner, or being responsible for anyone or anything. As I looked around my home, I noticed all the clutter, all the chores that needed to be done, all of the items that needed to be fixed, all the places that needed to be organized, and all the spots I wished looked better or felt better in some way. I felt overwhelmed, annoyed, and uninspired by my obligations and responsibilities.

In the past I would have whined and complained something like, “Life is hard,” “I hate that I have to do everything,” “Nobody cares about me,” “I can’t be at peace when the house is such a mess,” “My kids are acting like brats,” “I have too much to do and not enough time to do it,” etc. I would have started a lot of my sentences with “I can’t” or “I hate.” I would have eaten a lot of chocolate or cookies. I would have blamed my children and their tantrums, whining, fighting, or other bad behavior for the strong negative emotions I felt. And then I would have felt guilty for yelling, or guilty for some other behavior, and that would lead to me feeling like the worst mom ever. I would cry in my bedroom and maybe tell my husband of my troubles, and then feel angry, alone, and unloved when he didn’t give me the validation I wanted.

Thankfully, I know better now. I’ve recognized that when I am feeling short-tempered, easily annoyed, overwhelmed, and generally dissatisfied, it’s not because of my house, my kids, my husband, or anybody else or anything else outside of me. And focusing on how I wish those things were different won’t ever help me feel better. And isn’t that what we all really want?

You are Responsible

If you want to feel better, first you need to acknowledge that it’s not anyone else’s job to make you feel better. It’s not your mom’s job, it’s not your husband’s job, it’s not your kid’s job, it’s not your pet’s job, it’s not your co-worker’s job, it’s not your supervisor’s job, it’s not your Bishop’s job, it’s not your neighbor’s job, it’s not anyone else’s job! It’s YOUR job! Wouldn’t that be nice if everyone did and said exactly what we wanted, when we wanted, and how we wanted? That’s never going to happen, and if you’re waiting for anyone else to make you feel better, you might be waiting and blaming and complaining a long time. Accept the fact that it’s your job to help yourself feel better. “Whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself...for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free” (Helaman 14:30). Take a time out, take some deep breaths, take a nap, take a walk, take a break, take a bath. Use this time to clear your mind and refocus on what matter most in your life. You need to make this time for you because no one else is going to do it for you.

You are Human

You are completely normal, you are not the only one who has ever felt this way, and there is nothing wrong with you or your life. You are human, and being a human means there will always be “opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). You will always have challenges, and you aren’t likely to make positive changes when you’re judging and shaming yourself. I read a book that stated the acronym for SHAME as: Should Have Already Mastered Everything. Humans aren’t born knowing everything. Humans learn step by step, “line upon line; here a little, and there a little” (Isaiah 28:10). Anytime you think you “should be” better in some way, or that you “should have” known, or that you “shouldn’t have” made that mistake, you are judging and shaming yourself. Also, your human body gets tired after awhile. It is not physically possible for you to complete every item on your to-do list, so be kind to yourself. “See that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man [or woman] should run faster than he has strength” (Mosiah 4:27).

You are NOT Alone

Jesus has said, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you” (John 14:18). He has said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). He has said, “Be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you” (D&C 68:6). And “Let your hearts be comforted...for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God” (D&C 101:16 or Psalm 46:10). Do you believe these words from our Savior? Do you trust Him to keep His promises? If you intellectually believe the words, but don’t understand how this can work in your life, ask God for help to understand. Keep trying and praying for His peace, and do what it takes to increase your faith in Jesus Christ. You are never alone, and peace is available to you now, no matter what you are going through.

You are LOVED

You are a child of God! You are loved and will always be loved. Feeling God’s love helps you recognize that nothing has to change in order for you to feel better. Feeling God’s love brings peace and hope and faith back. Then you can go make changes from a place of love instead of stress and overwhelm.

“Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.” -President Thomas S. Monson

Your Experience is for Your Good

“All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7). God knows what’s happening in your life and how it is all helping you become the person you are meant to be, even if you can’t see that right now. If you can believe and trust this, it will change the way you look at your challenges. Instead of pointless suffering, you’ll see that you’re just going through a growing and learning phase, and everything is okay. It’s a relief to know that this is all somehow for your good. Your journey might not be turning out the way you thought it would, but your journey is the perfect one for you.

“Therefore, let your hearts be comforted; for all things shall work together for good to them that walk uprightly” (D&C 100:15). A perspective like this will help you to ask questions such as, “How am I growing from this experience, or what am I learning that will help me to bless others?” rather than questions that lead nowhere: “Why me?” and “Why do things have to be so hard?”

You Can Do This!

How do you get to the top of the stairs? One step at a time. You don't expect yourself to take them all at once. Likewise, you were not sent here to fail, and you have all that you need right now to solve the challenges in your life, one step at a time. You can do this! Jesus said, “He who is faithful shall overcome all things” (D&C 75:16). You just need a little faith. It’s easy to fall into hopelessness when you’re right in the middle of a challenge, but you can intentionally choose faith.

In Alma 26:12 it says, “I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things.” And so can you. In the strength of Jesus Christ, you can do whatever it is that you are called upon to do. When it feels challenging, remember that you can rely upon the strength of Jesus Christ, and you will be able to accomplish the things that matter most.

May God bless you in whatever challenge you are currently facing. You’ve got this.