“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”
This week as I was reading my Book of Mormon, I came across this scripture in 2 Nephi 28:20: “For behold, at that day shall [the devil] rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good.” Anger is everywhere. When things don’t turn out the way we want, or as quickly as we want, or when people don’t act the way we want, it’s easy to become angry. And when people become angry, they somehow feel the right to hurt, hate, resent, and/or criticize others, along with yelling, screaming, snide remarks, and/or basically throwing a tantrum.
Think about the look on someone’s face when they are in a rage. Think about the negative energy that anger brings to a room. The results of anger aren’t anything to be happy about or to feel proud of. Have you ever been in a grocery store and overheard an angry mother spouting threats and all kinds of other craziness to her kids? (And have you ever been that mother? I know I have.) It’s easy to see from the outside that a person who is operating with anger has lost control, and guess who they’ve given it to? That’s right, they’re behaving under the influence of the devil.
Jesus said, “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Nephi 11:29-30).
Jesus is telling us to “do away” with anger. No one said being a disciple of Christ would be easy. But just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it is impossible. In fact, Thomas S. Monson said, “To be angry is to yield to the influence of Satan. No one can make us angry. It is our choice. If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry. I testify that such is possible.” Anger drives away the Spirit of God. We must make conscious efforts to keep the Spirit in our home and to drive away the spirit of the devil.
It’s really easy to blame someone or something else when you get angry. Whatever they were doing or saying was super irritating or disrespectful, right? But that’s why anger, as Satan’s tool, is so tricky. It doesn’t seem like it’s your fault. You say, “She makes me so mad” or “I can’t believe he would do that” or “He shouldn’t talk to me that way,” and the list goes on and on. But really no one is forcing you to be angry, you’re choosing it. In the end it is our own behavior that we are judged by, not someone else’s--we cannot use the actions of someone else to justify our bad behavior.
Lynn G. Robbins gave a really good talk about “Agency and Anger.” He said, “Understanding the connection between agency and anger is the first step in eliminating it from our lives. We can choose not to become angry. And we can make that choice today, right now.”
Take responsibility for the anger you feel and exhibit in your life. Admit your faults and weaknesses to the Lord, and ask for help. I believe that our bad habits can be overcome if we are sincerely trying to do God’s will and ask for His help to do it. It will be a lifelong process to keep getting better at. And while you’re trying to overcome it, remember that we’re all going to make mistakes, and that’s okay. Nelson Mandela said, “I’m no saint--that is, unless you think a saint is a sinner who keeps on trying.” I’m a sinner when it comes to anger too, but I do want to do better, and I do keep trying (when I remember to focus on it). That is what we are doing as disciples of Jesus Christ. We keep on trying and we endure to the end in following the example of Jesus Christ, becoming a little better everyday, “brighter and brighter until the perfect day.”
What did Jesus teach us about interacting with others? He taught us to love, to forgive, to have compassion, to turn the other cheek. “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). And in 4 Nephi 1:15 it says, “There was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.” To eliminate contention, we need the love of God and the Spirit of God in our hearts. Recognize the anger and contention as the influence of the devil in your home and start today to make efforts to eliminate it. We could all use a little more of the Spirit of God in our homes and hearts.
Lynn G Robbins, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng
Lynn G Robbins, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng
Thomas S Monson https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/school-thy-feelings-o-my-brother?lang=eng
